no decent pizza for louie - a screenplay

on a particularly boring friday night, sally sits alone in her room and starts to write...

scene
luigi (or as he is known to his friends, louie), is standing in the middle of a red brick kitchen discussing his current dilemma of getting proper ingredients for his pizza deli to his friend dimitri. he is clearly vexed.

luigi: i-tis-a crayzee dimeeetri. they want-a me to trade my pepper-ronni for some tomaaatoes.
luigi: I need-a tomaaatoes for my peetza and they say, traaade it louie, for your pepper-ronni
dimitri: that is-a crayzee luigi!
luigi: I come into dis contree eh, to make-a the pitza. I need the tomatoes to make-a my pitza. I cannot-a make my pitza without the tomaaatoes eh. but I need the pepper-ronni for my pepper-ronni pitza...
luigi: i-tis-a crayzee no? I need the two ingreedients to make-a the beyst pitza..
luigi: I need the pepper-ronni for my pepper-ronni pitza and the tomaaatoes is for all the pitzas.
luigi: I cannot-a make my bizznesss with one and not the other eh?
dimitri: no you cannot, my friend
luigi: i-tis just-a crayzee dimeetri. I cannot-a work in this contree, with its lack of tomaaatoes and the pepper-ronni.
luigi: I cannot-a make a deessent pitza.

end